My Dear Younger Sister,

I have no doubt many have encouraged you to be pure. Usually that is the talk about saving yourself for marriage and not being pressured into letting guys take advantage of you. While those things are true it is just as important to have a pure heart, which is dedicated to serving God. James says the double-minded man may want to do right, but he also wants to please himself (James 4:4-8). A pure heart is focused on one thing: doing what pleases God.

It is important for you to be sexually pure and I do not assume you want to do things that “cross the line” and corrupt your morals. This is just one of those areas where your mistakes cannot be taken back and completely undone. That means you must always guard against being pressured or tricked into doing things you would not normally dream of doing. That does not mean that once someone goes too far they cannot be forgiven. You can always be forgiven. Even something as extreme as murder can be forgiven, but you will have consequences to live with. Sometimes those consequences will last the rest of your life. You can repent and start over, but your new starting point will not be just the same as it originally would have been. That is why it is so important not to throw away your sexual purity and innocence.

But purity is about more than just the use of your body, it is also a measure of your morals and your mind. Your mind is a clean slate in the beginning and your character forms from the ideas you pour into it. Hopefully you have learned to have a humble spirit that accepts instruction from the trustworthy loved ones around you. You listen to them because you know they have your best interests at heart. Their guidance has come from years of their own study and application of the Word of God and you must respect them for that. At the same time, you are thinking for yourself and sifting through ideas to test them. Please remember that your evaluation will be more limited than theirs. Some day you will be making all these decisions for yourself, but not yet. Your parents see the consequences of your actions a bit more clearly than you because they have lived with these questions for longer. Ask for guidance and clarification but honor the position of your parents as your protectors for a while yet. They are not trying to spoil your fun and deprive you of opportunities to enjoy yourself. They just don’t want to see you get hurt. One of the things that can hurt you and spoil your innocence is getting involved with people and activities that will take you away from God instead of binding you to Him. Even though you may not see the dangers please trust your parents and guardians when they warn you. You will be grateful later when you have reached their level of maturity and judgment.

Lastly, I beg you not to think that you can do things your parents have told you not to as long as you don’t get caught by them. That is not having a pure heart. God knows all that you do, and often your parents know things you think you have hidden from them. No matter if you admit to them or not, your choices have an impact on your mind and bad choices will become part of your future character if you do not root them out. God asks for us to be holy because He is. Doing what is right is just part of who God is and it can be part of who you are when you make choices with all your heart that follow His standards.

your friend with prayers,

Laurie Moyer

“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” 2 Tim 2:22; 1 Peter 1:15