My Dear Younger Sister,

“A friend loves at all times…” (Proverbs 17:17). Do you have a friend like that?  I’m talking about the kind that even when you grow up they still hold a special place in your memory because they have been part of forming who you will be as an adult. If you are around more people you may have many friends, but that is not always guaranteed. Proverbs 18:24 can be understood to say that too many friends can lead to ruin. That is especially true if you are always trying to please all of them. It is also possible the verse is saying that to have friends you must first be friendly. There is a play on words used there that makes both translations possible and they are both true. If you wish you had more friends, you should start by asking how friendly you are to others. What is a true friend, though? It is not just someone you spend time with. You genuinely care about each other and share your happy moments and your concerns. Maybe you know exactly who I am talking about, or maybe you are still looking for them. The ultimate form of this special friend will be the man you marry someday, but in the meantime your friends can be girls or boys, older or younger, the person next door or someone you do not see very often, but the common link is that you value and understand each other.

A friend will not ask you to do anything you both know is wrong. Instead, they will help you make the right choices that build you both up toward God. A friend knows the difference between something that is fun or exciting for a moment and what is a lasting source of happiness. Doing what is right will give you a reason to be happy and satisfied. Someone who selfishly wants you to help them do what is wrong is not really concerned for your ultimate good. Pressuring you to stay quiet about something they did that was wrong is not an act of friendship. Even though it may seem that they will suffer if you reveal what you know, your concern must not be for how they feel right now– for a short time– but that they learn how to make choices that will enable them to be a godly and happier adult. A friend does not sit by and watch another choose to do wrong but fills the role of their conscience and warns them when danger is approaching. You don’t need to be bossy about it, but that is exactly what you really would want them to do for you if the situation were reversed. If your efforts to warn them make them mad or reveal a part of their character that is not what you want to imitate, then you really do not want to support them in that.

Perhaps those hard choices would be easier to make if you thought of the people around you as your “second-best” friends. God is your best friend. He has given you many good things. The most important thing He gives is direction in how to live a life that is truly happy. God tells us to “Say to wisdom, ’You are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend” (Proverbs 7:4) It seems strange to say of someone you cannot see, but you can be closer to God than anyone else on earth. He understands absolutely everything you feel and care about. (1 Chronicles 28:9) He even has your best interests at heart. With God there is no fear that you will be asked to give more than He has to your relationship. He has already done more for you than you can ever repay. All He asks is for you to rely on Him and be grateful for His blessings. People will disappoint us. Not always, but it does happen. We should not let the actions of other people make us bitter toward the life that God gives us. Instead we should draw closer to Him because He will be the constant friend in our lives who will not let us down.

your friend with prayers,

Laurie Moyer

“The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.” Psalm 25:14